


Before you fall

by axiciaaa



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Death, First Love, Funeral, M/M, Making Out, Swearing, third-person POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-06 22:23:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11045553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/axiciaaa/pseuds/axiciaaa
Summary: His body had become thinner and frail hands flipped through the pages of a volleyball magazine. But when he saw you, ah, Kageyama, you'd wonder over and over again until your brain short-circuits that "god, what did he do to deserve this." His smile was wide and bright when he saw you, and his eyes shone with some light of hope or whatever. You don't know, all you know was that the room had lighten up when he lightened up."Hey Kageyama!" His voice was hoarse, but still carried the same chime when he was still up and about, healthy and not bedridden by a lung disease you can't pronounce.Hinata Shouyou was dying, Kageyama, and you, you're trying your best not to fall apart.





	Before you fall

**Author's Note:**

> this is not the sequel for "calls" this is just a standalone story about our favorite idiots' first love.  
> I just had this rad idea and i know i needed to write it down

You walk past the city rather briskly, hands swaying with the autumn breeze. You bump into faces you do not recognize and mutter an inaudible remark of apology. They don't seem to care, Kageyama, they never do. Because just like you, they have places to go. And time was never in any one's hands, so you walk, and walk, and eventually run until the wind was blasting against your face.

* * *

You enter the building and this bouncy feeling greets you, along with the white walls and people dressed in uniforms with the same color. It makes you dizzy somehow, but your feet start to move without you realizing it.

Then you were there. Room 136, second floor. And you enter almost immediately. You run a hand through your black, unkept hair and breathe deeply.

There he was, sitting majestically on the bed with his orange hair going in directions. The same old hospital gown draped over his body making him look small. His body has become thinner and frail hands flipped through the pages of a volleyball magazine. But when he saw you, ah, Kageyama, you'd wonder over and over again until your brain short-circuits that "god, what did he do to deserve this." His smile was wide and bright when he saw you, and his eyes shone with some light of hope or whatever. You don't know, all you know was that the room had lighten up when he lightened up.

"Hey Kageyama!" His voice was hoarse, but still carried the same chime when he was still up and about, healthy and not bedridden by a lung disease you can't pronounce.

Hinata Shouyou was dying, Kageyama, and you, you're trying your best not to fall apart.

* * *

It was unexpected that his life would have to be cut short. It shocked everyone, it shocked you the most. You trembled, too, when Hinata was shaking and coughed maniacally during practice. You all thought that it was the weather getting to him, but you did not expect blood to spill from his mouth and him fainting from lack of oxygen.

You rushed him to the hospital, along with the team, and you prayed to a god you don't believe in: let him be okay. It was like a mantra, and you couldn't have thought of a better prayer because your head was filled with the image of the redhead.

* * *

Doctors couldn't figure it out. Some said it was Bronchitis, others Tuberculosis, and perhaps Pneumonia. The rest claimed that it was an unknown virus. You restrained yourself from shouting at the doctors and nurses because Hinata's family was there, and it would have been worse if you had thrown a fit right there. So you shut up, held it in and punched a wall behind the hospital after the consultation had ended.

* * *

Every time you would come to visit, you'd hear your heart beat out of your chest. He was always there, lighting up when visitors came to spend some time. But you were afraid - afraid that one day, he wouldn't be there anymore, that one day he's not healthy or sick and he had gone into the other wo-

"Well, don't just stand there, idiot!" He cried out, a menacing grin written on his lips. Your thoughts were interrupted by his loud voice. You walk towards him, one hand in your pocket and the other grasping the bag of meat buns.

"I don't want to be called an idiot by an idiot."

* * *

You try your best to visit everyday, as long as time permits, you'd come to that room every single day. You'd talk about everything and anything under the sun, as long as he keeps talking. You'll never know, your last conversation might be coming.

He started crying, though, when he recalled a time when everything was okay and he didn't have to breathe problematically without a machine stuck to his nostrils. His sadness touched you, and you were inches apart from breaking down. But you held it in, because you have no right to break down. You were not dying like the redhead who deserved everything good in the world.

"I want to play volleyball with the team, swim at the beach with all of you, but most of all." He sniffled, bringing his shaking hands to wipe off his tears. "I don't want to see you with that pained expression, Kageyama."

You felt a tear run down your cheek, but you quickly wiped it off and instead held Hinata in your arms. You cradled his cheek with your thumb and securely put an arm around his wait, his head resting against your neck. "Don't do that to me."

"Do what?"

"That - make me feel things." He didn't reply, he continued sobbing into your shoulder, and you breathed, breathed in his scent, savored it.

* * *

"Yamaaaaaa." The redhead had his hand rested on his chin. His expression was that of a tabby cat, lazy and asking for attention.

"I want pork buns."

"The store ran out of it, idiot, I told you that for the nth time already."

"But-" Hinata rested his head against your shoulder, you suppressed a blush from creeping onto your face. "When someone's dying, you have to give them everything they want, riiiiight?"

"Stop that, you're not dying."

"Mhm, now go get me pork buns."

"No." You looked at him questionably, and his lips had settled into a smirk. "Can I get you something else than pork buns?"

He shifted his position, sitting up properly. You looked at him and waited for an answer. It was just mere seconds when the redhead started to blush, his cheeks tainted red and his ears perked up. You wonder why the hell was he blushing furiously.

"What? Tell me what you want."

"Ugh, no nevermind."

"Spill it, I don't do favors easily so now's your chance."

"But...." You click your tongue. Your patience was being tested, and you know damn well you're not a patient person.

"Spit it out!"

"Okay!" He exclaimed, his cheeks were still flaming. "I want you to.... Give me a kiss."

Oh.

A silence had settled upon you. Your heart rate got faster and you just want to swoop him by how adorable he looked. But you were frozen there, by shock and undeniable satisfaction.

And you leaned it and caught his lips with yours.

He tasted like grape vitamins and mint. His lips were chapped, though, but you couldn't care less. He kissed back, Kageyama, and both of your faces were on fire.

* * *

Kageyama, did you know? That you loved him. You acknowledged those feelings, but you couldn't tell him. You knew it was just a crucial time and just suddenly saying it would definitely confuse him. He won't return your feelings, that's what you always thought, you were a jerk to him.

But what if he loved you back? Would you spend the rest of your life regretting that you never acted on your feelings? Or would you spend it with hating yourself because you confessed to him when you know damn well he didn't need that right now?

But time was ticking and life was short.

* * *

You decide not to tell him.

It's for the best, that's what you thought.

* * *

"Hey Kageyama." It was several nights after you first kissed, but you never really admitted what you felt towards the redhead, neither did he.

"Yeah?"

"You wouldn't forget me right?"

"What? Of course not."

"That's good to hear." He smiled again.

"I wouldn't forget even if I was dead."

"Ew, necrophilia."

"Now way in fucking hell, Hinata."

He chuckles beautifully. His eyebags are getting darker and his cheekbones were getting more noticeable. You thought he was still beautiful though. Nonchalantly, you brush your fingers against his hair.

Then you caress his cheek, he melts into your touch. You fix your gaze unto his eyes, and he gazes back. You stare at each other for what it felt like forever, then you inch closer to his face, eyes still not straying.

  
His purple lips unfurl like a rose. You both lean in, and your lips are touching again, warmth enveloping around you.

Your heart beats against your ribcage as you deepen the kiss, biting his lower lip with your teeth. You hear him moan, making your skin crawl with excitement, the same anticipation moving along your thighs, pants getting tighter. You lick his lower lip, asking for entrance, asking for more, and he opens his mouth, letting your tongue slide in tomexplore  his insides religiously. You snake your tongue against the roof of his  mouth and he lets out this sexy moan that entices you to get deeper. His arms were latched against your neck, your hands on his cheek.

When you pull apart for air, your eyes meet and you both heat up, blood rushing to your face. But you stay there, his arms around your neck and yours against his cheeks, caressing his flesh with your thumbs.

"Shoyou, I..."

"Shh, Tobio."

And you looked immaculate, clinging onto each other like that. And you prayed, and prayed and prayed that he would stay a little longer, or just lift his sickness permanently. You begged the stars to let you have him until you were gray and old.

* * *

At the funeral, you brought forget-me-nots, in contrast with the peonies and daffodils most people brought. You laid them down beautifully on his ebony-colored casket, the same shade as your hair. You didn't shed a tear, even through the eulogies his friends and family spoke, even when you came up to the podium and delivered your speech, you did not let your eyes water.

You told everyone he was an idiot, clumsy and dense, and everyone tried their best to laugh through it, because it was true. But you continued, and told the crowd, the whole world that he was the first person to ever make you feel important, to make you feel loved. You told them that Hinata Shouyou was an incredible and spontaneous person who was easy to befriend but difficult to let go. And you told them, and yourself, to never forget this wonderful person, the ex-ace, your ex-partner and your perpetual love.

At the end of the funeral, Hinata's mother gave you a letter sealed in a light orange envelope, you politely excuse yourself, went home and lay exhausted on your bed. Then you read the letter.

_To: Kageyama Tobio_

_By time you read this, I would have gone now. But that's okay! At least I'm not suffering from this nasty disease anymore. But, I would have preferred it if I'd stay alive and recover fully. Dreams are dreams, yeah?_

_It's actually hard for me to say your name without me melting, it's like my heart is all "gwaah!!!" and "woooh!!" when I do. But when you kissed me and held me in your arms the night we let our feelings burst, my heart felt light and I was able to say it. I never told you 'i love you' face-to-face and neither did you, but I felt it strongly with the way you look at me, and wished I could have said it to you, but I know I couldn't especially during the time I was sick. You are the first person to ever make me feel like this and that just scares me, 'cause who would have thought that I would fall for my ultimate rival?_

_Tobio, I have loved you for what it felt like years. You have brought out the best in me, both inside and outside the court. Thank you for always keeping me company through my ups and downs during my confinement. I always felt you were tired from volleyball practices and school but you managed to squeeze me into your tight schedule. Whenever I'm sad, you always try to cheer me up (even if you suck at it) and you stood patiently with me even through my sickness, and with that, I am eternally grateful._

_I would have loved it if I could stay a little longer and spend my days with the team, with my family, with you. But my time has come and we just need to accept it, right? I'll watch you from over the clouds. I'll protect everyone the best I can. So don't do anything stupid and follow me - I am not even kidding. Promise me you'll grow old until your arthritis is bad and your teeth can't chew anymore. Hahaha! I'm kidding. But please, I want you to live a life without regrets. Live every day like it's your last. Live it with passion, Tobio, even without me._

_Kageyama Tobio, thank you for being my first and last love._

_Yours forevermore,  
Hinata Shouyou_

And you cried.

**Author's Note:**

> when i was writing this, i actually teared up at hinata's last line on the letter hahahaha im a sappy snitch im so sorry


End file.
